Dear adults who fear the dark,

“[Nex was] always someone who was never afraid to be who [he was].”

“He made everything easier”.

These are just some of the memories offered at a vigil by teachers, lovers, friends, and classmates about a deceased Oklahoma teen named Nex Benedict. 

Many questions may come to mind. What led up to such an untimely occurrence? Was this an isolated incident: a simple, yet unfortunate accident? Or, was it driven by malice? 

There is a much simpler way to frame such a question. One that is indicative of the deadly, bleeding ignorance that LGBTQ+ youth across the nation are subjected to:

Why did an innocent teenager have to die?

As a trans teenager myself, I assert that a singular aspect of someone’s identity shouldn’t determine whether it is okay for them to lose their life. Nor should it be the sole criteria by which they are judged, or condemned. I believe this reductive perception is a result of a habitual human reaction: the fear of the unknown.

It’s normal to not know how to properly react when faced with something unfamiliar; it’s embedded in our DNA. 

I remember being afraid of the dark as a child. And why shouldn’t I have been? The dark was a murky sea of invisibility that permeated the room; any number of frightening things could seek refuge within it, unseen and unheard. Only when I grew older did I become more acquainted with the dark, and only then did I come to no longer fear it. I learned that it was natural and harmless, despite my wildest imaginations. 

Transgender and non-binary people are normal, too. We have existed throughout history, all across the world. In ancient Rome, over 2000 years ago, galli priests, who were born male, presented femininely. They wore makeup, feminine clothing, and even castrated themselves. In 1952, Christine Jorgensen was the first American to undergo a transition. Anthropologist Brian Gilley notes that ‘two-spirit’ people–  Indigenous Americans who are seen as possessing both a male and a female spirit– have consistently important and unique roles in their communities regardless of tribe. 

Ignorance of gender-nonconforming existence continues to allow our deaths to be disregarded and swept under the rug. Ryan Walters, the Oklahoma Superintendent of Instruction, still insists that transgender and non-binary people do not exist. Oklahoma State Senator Tom Woods labeled the LGBTQ+ “filth” shortly after Benedict’s passing.

To disown our youth— to stand by as they senselessly perish— is to snuff out our nation’s very future. 

We must stop trying to erase transgender and non-binary people. Because we are not mere products of overactive imaginations. 

Because we are not simply the weapons used to fight a culture war. 

Because we are not monsters in the dark.

Because we exist.

– Rose Lee